am i seeing it?

you see what you see
at times
you see what you want to see
mostly

but what you see
n
what you show
i see that

i am amazed
fascinated
lost

in just seeing...
am i seeing it?

my hell n also heaven ...

She asked me,
'In which hell are you?'

what do i tell her?
what do i tell you?

i am the hell
i am the heaven

i create my own hell n the heaven too
probably so do you...

earth
water
air
fire
space
me
we work together
to make
my hell n heaven too...

and believe me,
you have a position,
in both these,
a very special position,
a unique position

in the hell
you are beautiful
in the heaven
you are even more beautiful

hell lets
us come close
heaven lets
us come closer

in the hell
there is music
there is dance
there is life of unfulfilled

heaven s has music
and dance
and life too,
may be of those, fulfilled

hell
prevents somethings
but so does heaven

wait a minute
i am the creater
am i making some mistake?

no
i am not

my reality
my hell n heaven
am i.

and not you...

who are you?

Do i know you?
Do you know me?

Then pray tell me,
who am i?
what are 'we'?

btw,
are you my friend?
or we are just acquaintances?
are you sure about that in the first place?

we know each other?
are you serious?

you mean to say we 'know' each other?

do we break
the barriers or
rather the safety layers
when we get to
'know' each other?

I wonder,
if you and i are friends at all...

one thing i know
and i know it or sure...
you and i connect
on a very very deep level...

even if
we are just acquaintances...

one of those days...

float and float more
on air
on mind
on thought

see what is
more stable...

the window
or
the wall

somethings move
apparently
something stay stable
apparently...

anyway
one of 'those' days...
it was...

Dynamic n defined...

When the answer is not defined

But rather

Dynamic

Is there any point

seeking for an answer

in the first place?

i wonder

n

I wander
I hear a line in my ears,
'all those who wander are not aimless...'

wondering

n

wandering

seeking

n

seeing

dynamics of life…

is it?

Possibilities...

The 'Gap'...

Isn't that what
we all seek to fill,
all the time?

At times,
it is better
to be in that
and then
the gap
can be
transformed

into
'Space'
...











...

trinity...?

reality
projection of reality
perception of reality

...

what do you want to know
about your life through your blog?

the reality,
you will have to feel.

the projection,
you will have to know,
to project...

the 'others' can only reflect
on
their perception
of
your projection...

life

is a black comedy...

raw...

Incomplete
Unsatisfied
is the raw for an artist.

The uneasiness of
wandering and wondering.

Hurt n pain

limits n limitations

Impotency in expression

dor...

finding

the right shade of being

where it be

solitude

and not

loneliness

is the effort.

meanwhile

is the

urge of connection...

'karma'...

The 'karma' theory
reads thus

'i do
what
i am to do.'

the void...

void (void) adj.
Containing no matter; empty.
Not occupied; unfilled.
Ineffective; useless.
An empty space.
A vacuum.
An open space or a break in continuity; a gap.
A feeling or state of emptiness, loneliness, or loss.

'completion' leaves an ache behind...

dream works...?

Open windows
fresh air
fog n smoke
smell of nilgiri burn

thoughts in the dream
whisper and scream
I wonder to get a break
at least in the sleep

lonely minds
alone soul

architect of mirage...

tired and sleepy,
alone at a level,
that is hazy,
i sound crazy
thinking, busy

useless thoughts
original feel
fear level
freedom n space

spread the wings
to float and fly
touch n go
over the sky

raindrops
peace
loneliness
hate
attachments
love
likes

may be obstacles
may be treasures

right now they make me.
make me feel heavy in the heart
make me feel 'human'

anyway

absurdity unlimited

I am a person
who will dream to build
a mirage...

nomad...

riding is not just about speed...

it is about the 'whole' of it

speed is just a part

it is about the feel of it

it is about whom you meet

it is about the road

about the turns you take

overtakes you make

the stops you take

the camp next to the lake

what you remember when you wake!!!

wise and otherwise...

"Arjuna, Knowledge stands

covered by the eternal enemy of the wise

known as desire,

which is insatiable like fire."

-Sri Krishna

I live on the edge,
I am rooted in that very thing of 'desire', 'life', 'wants', 'bullet rides', 'nice coffee', 'brilliant and other conversations', 'desire to intimacy', 'desire to grief', 'desire to have smiles and tears', 'desire to see', 'desire to understand', 'be a man (with the flavours of being human)', 'desire of walking long miles', 'desire to burn myself to bones', 'desire to reach the horizon'...

Churn and learn

Sulk and burn

Fire in the mountain

Run run run...

I stand nowhere close to wisdom

Not ready to give away my boredom(!)

Thou cry for thy freedom

My acts n thoughts are very random...

I let myself be such

Nevertheless with left much

Thoughts and wishes still to munch

I let myself be such

- raya UD

normal and abnormal...

Who is normal?

are you like me?

How can two persons be 'same'?

Every person is normal,

in the sense,

every person is different (read abnormal)

than the other

and 'that' is the norm common to all.

and that's what make a few

normal and others

abnormal...

weird...

Eyes n search...

My people...

Who are these people?
My influencers? I don't even know if there is such a word...
But if there isn't such a word, I shall define what I mean by it.

'The people who have influenced my life'.

What is the significance of me telling you this? That you tell me.

But 'my people' are those who are such. Who have touched my life. And I am sure each one of us does have such bag full of people influencing a person's life.

My people are not necessarily any 'well-known' people. They are from celebrities to a person on the road,


Today belongs to such a man I came across on road.

Place: JM Road outside Crosswords
Time: around 9 PM

I am sitting on the steps,
I see a man, wearing old cloths
Mud and dust and smoke and dirt
Hunger and pain
Anger and strength of wildness
One might be tempted to call him 'bhikhari'

He looks towards me
He walks to me
He looks at me
He walks to me
He looks in my eyes

I am a little baffled
I am a little confused
I am in search

Is he too searching the same?
What am I searching?
Am I sure about my search?

Our eyes meet
He is standing close
Really really close
Our eyes are locked with each other’s

What are his eyes saying?
Are they saying anything at all?

What am I reading in his eyes?
Why am I trying to read something in his eyes?

Am I reflecting?
Am I reflecting myself in him?
Am I searching my potency to be him?

What is the ache in my heart?
Is it because he is the way he IS?
Or is it I the way I AM?
Isn’t it the fact,
the realization of uselessness, helplessness?

Poor n Pure
Poverty n purity

Reality?

He has sharp, clean
May be haunting, may be challenging eyes.

Is he challenging me?
What can he fight for?
What do I have to lose?
What does he have to fight for?

Anything n everything

He is still gazing at me
His sight doesn't shake a bit
His gesture is upsetting me

Do I see myself in him?

Sanity and insanity

Reality and ... ?

Why blog...?

tell me something...

Why are you here on this page?

Why are you reading whatever is been posted here?

Do we know each other? If we do, I am sure that you already know my line of thought. Don't you?
What do you know of/about me?
How much can we know each other?

Knowing or not knowing is one thing and that is of less significance to that of how much do we mean to each others...

As a matter of fact, being social animals, we need each other. Even if the blog claims to be 'solipsist' there is a required communication expected with understanding.

anyway

there are exams conducted in univ. and people are expected to study and write the expected things, and that is why I am blogging such things here...

sorre to take your time...

antar...

antar...

sharirik

mansik

bhavnik

waicharik...

wadhat antar...

durawa...

Disconnections...

mansanchya pasun laamb jaan...

Hum kaach ke gilas thode hi hai

jo haath se gire aur ekdam toot jaay?

Hum to dost hai mere yaar...

hum ahista ahista tootenge

aaise tootane mein takaliph to hogihee...